Sawyer the runaway

A FB post I forgot to blog: Two weeks ago Sawyer said he wanted to run away and move to the tree down the street. I told him he had to know our address and phone number first, in case he ever wanted to check in. He learned both this week and is now in the neighbor's tree. I expect him home at dinner/dark

*scroll down for more current updates

look back at Halloween 2016

Other things have happened since, but we don't want to forget the recent Halloween fun of our Colonial Girl (day time) Mermaid (night), Spiderman (day) Captain American (night), the angel or our bike messenger. 

the week that followed

Daddy and his children 

cousins on the roof after the funeral
 

Mama died over a week ago and the days around it have been a time warp. I realized TODAY that Thanksgiving is in one week. November slipped by without my noticing. 

Our very last minute decision to drive to Birmingham November 4th weekend proved to be such a gift of time with Mama, Daddy, Sarah, Will and Mary Beth. It's a rare treat to have time with my parents and siblings together for extended days, and this time was most precious. We were all together Sunday night, once Will arrived, to read through the Book of Common Prayer Ritual of the Dying together, sing hymns, and catch up. The next morning I took Daddy for a nerve block to help his aching hip/back and came home to all be together. Mama's oxygen had dropped from 93% Sunday to 50% Monday. Their pastor Bill Boyd came after lunch and we, again, prayed, sang and talked about books, music and other things we love while sitting at the foot of my parents' bed. Mama left us peacefully about 3:45 Monday November 7th. She was unable to verbalize anything or even squeeze our hands those final days. Her little 82 pound body passed into heaven to be made whole again in the arms of her Savior.  

I realize now that the next days were a cocoon of love, laughter, sadness, planning, and processing I needed. Eating at La Paz and working on Mama's obituary story was actually fun. Our brunch together was a building up time before facing hundreds of friends and family in the night and day that followed. To hear "Your mama was such a good friend who made me feel important" from more than two or three people helped me see how important she is to so many of us. Seeing that nearly 75% of her 20 nieces and nephews came to celebrate and share our sorrows brought a smile to my face and sweet stories during our time together. When one of the kids said it was strange to have a party after a funeral Alice said, "No it isn't. Mimi is celebrating with Jesus now." Now Sawyer didn't have a deep reaction, but he's four and that's okay. When Mark told him Mimi died Sawyer asked "Who gets Mimi's iPad?" Made me laugh out loud!

I'm back in Virginia now and plugging along. It first felt like a sibling got married: sore feet, good food, fun friends and family, total exhaustion, but we didn't gain an in-law we lost our mom.  I'm outside of the cocoon and feel a little lonely with my sadness. I'm glad for my husband, home and family but no one else I see knows my history, Mama's story, or our closeness. Parents on the playground are sympathetic but don't get it. They don't really have to; we haven't been here long. I'm grateful to have friends over the river in Maryland and glad their support is nearby. These most recent months of Mama's suffering made it easier to say goodbye and that was preparation I didn't know I'd need so much. 

Stegalls on Friday night

Mimi is in heaven

Mary Louise Graves Stegall passed away peacefully on Monday, November 07, 2016, surrounded by her husband and four children after a 13 year battle with cancer.

Mary’s commitment to children and families was a passion that drove her throughout her life. At Auburn, she graduated with a degree in Early Childhood Development. After marrying Bill Stegall, her high school sweetheart of seven years, she found herself fully in the weeds, being blessed with four children. With her youngest off to school, Mary became a teacher for the Young Mothers Program for Birmingham City Schools. Unwed pregnant teens and their newborns were assigned to Mary’s classroom at Woodlawn High School. She taught her students how to care of themselves and their new babies. The program’s success kept more young women in school and built stronger families, with Mary ensuring that “her girls” knew the importance of a strong spiritual foundation.

Mary & Bill moved to Memphis in 1998 and to Gadsden in 2004, where again she taught home economics. She actively served her church wherever the Lord placed her and her family; which included Briarwood (Birmingham), 2^nd Presbyterian (Memphis), Rainbow (Gadsden) and Covenant (Birmingham). She viewed her efforts for Overseas Missions as among her most important contributions to children and families.

Mary’s priority clearly was family, though her hospitality extended far beyond. She was Bill’s biggest supporter in new business ventures, and his nurse when he suffered two heart attacks. She home-schooled two of her children for a year, and sent her kids on trips overseas when she would have loved to travel more. She hosted year-long foreign exchange students, kids’ friends on semester-long internships; friends in need of a temporary home, and provided room and board for family and friends-of-friends.  You knew that a visit to Mary’s home might mean seeing old friends or making new ones.

Mary’s seven-year battle with stage-four cancer, waged with Dr. Andres Feraro-Torres’s tender care, was a case study in tenacity with dignity. Mary prayed that she would see her four children’s spouses, that each would love her child and the Lord, and that she would get to see and know her grandchildren.  She saw all these things and more, and thanked God for his merciful goodness.

Mary was born on September 17, 1949, the fourth child and only daughter of Emalee Graves Newbold and the late Jack A. Graves. She graduated from Berry High School and Auburn University, and is survived by her husband of 43 years, William C. Stegall Jr. She is survived by her mother, Emalee, and three brothers: David Graves (Jan), Jack Graves (Randa), and Jeff Graves (Renee).

Mary was the wise and loving mother of four children: Sarah Squires (K.C.), Will Stegall (Jenny), Emalee Holmes (Mark), and Mary Beth Ely (David). Her 12 grandchildren were each a source of joy: Elle Squires, Evelyn Squires, Aubrey Squires, Annie Stegall, William Stegall, J.E.B. Stegall, Henry Stegall, Alice Holmes, Sawyer Holmes, Caroline Ely, Elizabeth Ely, and Anna Ely. She also loved her many aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews.

Visitation will be held from 6:00 – 8:00 pm on Wednesday, November 9^th at Southern Heritage Funeral Home. A memorial service will be held at noon on Thursday, November 10, 2016, at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 65 Old Montgomery Highway, Birmingham, AL 35209. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Missions Committee of Covenant Presbyterian Church.