lighter heart in hard times with Mama

Mama came home today after 7 days at the UAB Palliative Care hospital unit. She called it the Disney World of hospital settings for their caring staff and creative approaches to problem solve her pain, infection, and other issues. The music therapy brought joy to her heart. The Christian counseling, massage therapy, dedicated staff and environment was an excellent reset from her enduring pain and confusion at home with hospice.

I've felt like I was slowly losing Mama since coming home to Virginia in July. It took 3-5 days of calling to actually reach her because she was sleeping, exhausted or not mentally focused enough to talk. I wanted to tell her things and she "wasn't there", not because she had died but because she wasn't able to participate, listen or think through things with me. That preview of losing Mama gave me an additional glimpse of how much I love her and appreciate her wisdom.

The Palliative Care doctors also told her something no other doctor in nearly seven years has ever said when she's asked "How long will I live?" The answer gave peace to Mama's heart as she accepts her outlook and prays for others who love her to have peace in their grieving. They think she'll have 2-3 months to live based on her current status, unless any unforeseen complications like infection, embolism, etc diminish her more rapidly.

This week has lightened my heart. Mama's new medication makes her pain manageable and keeps her clear headed. Prayers are being answered. I've talked to her 2-3 times this week and had meaningful conversations, encouraging words, and even a FaceTime with her and the kids! Please pray that the medications she can use at home will continue these positive results.

Her completion of cancer-fighting has brought me, personally, a freedom from worry. I always feared the next test, success of a new drug, complication or hospitalization. Now the success of medicine is no longer a hope or fear of mine. I have hope that Mama will join her Savior in Heaven. I have no fear that her pain or disability will be permanent. She knows my heart deeper than anyone, but I have years with Mark ahead that will flourish and grow as he continues to love me well, support me and care for me. I have Maryland grandparents who love my kids, care for me, and have wisdom to share. My Daddy has displayed such love, care and devotion to Mama for years, especially as they battled her cancer. Mama will go but God has left behind so many blessings in my life, plus memories of her. I'm grateful for the kid-free time scheduled in two weeks to spend more time together.

June 7th, one week before ending treatment, she spoke to women at her church. Here's a link if you want to hear more:
Mary Stegall June 7th Summer Salad Supper Talk

#NYC19LeftBehind Girls Trip

Back in May Ansley was looking for a group to go to NYC together from our MOPS group. Seven moms left behind 19 children and loved every minute! I didn't know then how my summer would shape up with extended renovation time/effort while staying with friends, a long trip to Alabama, VBS volunteering in Maryland, and settling in to our new house. It was a fantastic trip that exceeded my expectations. We got along so well and enjoyed walking, eating, and seeing shows together in NYC. I liked staying in Brooklyn and having a local guide us through a new version on New York than my previous trips. Plus, seeing the city with first-timers who were full of Southern charm and enthusiasm was a trip! I'm so glad I got to get away and have such a great time.

getting older & celebrating

Isn't Alice growing up? This is Mimi's wig on Alice's 6th birthday.

We celebrated in Virginia with her "Maryland family", the Mygatts and Macdonalds, by swimming and coming back to our house for pizza, cucumbers, taziki, and chocolate cake (her menu). 

We've read all the books that go with her new American Girl Cecile from Mimi & Grandaddy. She's still delighted by having stories read to her, playing with dolls, dress-up, drawing, baking, climbing things, and showing her independence as she dresses, helps and "teaches" Sawyer. 

Alice, Mark and Poppy celebrated their birthdays within 6 days of each other with cousin Kingston at the lake. 

Sawyer felt like Mark needed a birthday party do-over so he wouldn't have to share with anyone else after we returned to Virginia. The kids helped me make a pound cake, pick out decorations, and party at the Macdonalds' house after VBS late in July. It was fun to see how much Sawyer cares for his Daddy, because he knows the feeling is mutual. 

July back in Bama

July in Birmingham with all 22 Stegalls together. Mama official started hospice at home the end of June and pushed herself to enjoy time with us all. It was fun to see cousin relationships grow and sad to see Mama sliding downhill. It felt good to use my medical background to care for my most special patient ever. I love Mama and know she loves me too, even on the tough days. 

We had fun days at Lake Martin with all 13 of the Holmes (Abby's due with #14 in September). The kids want to go faster or crazier on every tubing or jet ski ride they take. We enjoyed fireworks with the Barr crowd and relaxing days on the water. 

Leaving behind the marshes of SC for northern Virginia

Alice completed kindergarten at Orange Grove the same day our moving van loaded up for our move to northern Virginia. These pictures at "our marsh" taken the week before we moved are a treasure of the two years years we spent in Charleston. We left behind good friends, fun memories with an excited outlook for our new life in VA. Mark and I were separated for 6 weeks as he began his new job and I sorted, purged, packed, and finished up before our relocation. Life is better with Mark in it.